another unforunate toilet mishap

why is it that i need to take a crap at the worst moments?

So tonights story starts straight after dinner when the tap doesn't stop leaking. So decides to fix it himself. Firstly to turn off the water. Then omg STOMACH ACHE!!! I could barely hold it in... on the way there dad shouts out to me not to flush the toilet.

So i took my shit, cleaned my ass then proceeded to wash my hands.. but of course there was no water. But i decided to put soap on my hands anyway cos i thought at least it would be cleaner. I managed to open the door with my wrists and headed back to the broken tap. Yes and there in the toilet lay the unflushed stinky toilet full of my shit.

But wait. It was no ordinary shit. It was reminiscent of the shit that landed in my pants a couple of posts ago. It was.. sticky and stuck within the cheeks of my ass. and i had to clean that gunk out of my crack. ewww.. xD

At the heart of the debate is What could have caused such a mess? I'm not entirely sure. Perhaps it was the fried rice that my uncle just cooked. Or was it was from the kangaroo meat or the abalone which i had both tasted for the first time. Maybe it was because i put twice the amount of cheese into my toasted sandwich from breakfast. Who knows o_O

Anyway it was very awkward. The water is now on. I have flushed the toilet. I have washed my hands.

Strange how i only post about the shits i take. Do i have no shame?

Toilet Hygiene

Yes we all know that we should wash our hands after going to the toilet. But not everyone does so.

I was watching Good News Week the other night while flicking through channels waiting for Flashforward to continue.. and came across a game they were playing. It was matching the numbers to the statistic. One of them was..

3/10 men and 1/10 women admit to...
Eating cat and dog food.
Not washing their hands after going to the toilet.
i forget the third one, but it was rediculously stupid and obviously not this one.

So they picked the 1st one, because they felt that way more people dont wash their hands after going to the toilet. But the actual answer was number 2. Upon hearing this ahhhhh admit to.. must be heaps of ppl not admitting.

Being a funny show, one of the guys proceeds by saying.. pfft would be more like 10/10 guys dont wash their hands after pissing, because if they did, it's like saying that they have a dirty cock.
I couldnt help laughing at that. And it made perfectly logical sense xD but also got me thinking why else would a guy wash their hands after peeing.. obviously cos they pissed on their hands. But then i thought that would be like admitting to being an unco.

But then again it would be better having a dirty dong and a clean hand instead of having a dirty wang and a dirty palm. SO WASH YOUR HANDS AFTER GOING TO THE TOILET!

Don't you just hate pissing on you hands? *wipes on your cheek*
-Farnie

broken promises?

I think everyone will be glad to know that i have successfully recovered from my bout of diarrhoea. :)

Have you ever broken a promise? I think i might have =O but a long time ago.. dont really remember it.

I was talking to a friend about it (viv :P), about how our parents are the main culprits. For the sake of good grades, they often bribe us with offerings of our desires. In most cases, they are successful in achieving their goal, but neglect to keep their promise.

For example, in year 6 my parents bribed my sister. Their ploy to get her to study hard to get a scholarship was to promise her that if she did, that they would take her to Disneyland! ZOMGWTFBBQHAX! DISNEYLAND :D she got her scholarship. she hasnt been to Disneyland.

*random note*

wth o_O my sister just left the house and a minute later called me and told me to bring her a scarf.. expecting her to be right outside the door when i got there, i then realised that she was on the other side of the road waiting for the bus..reading.. NEW MOON O_O and then she yelled out "quick the bus is coming!" so.. i had to run in thongs across the road, dodging traffic to deliver her scarf to her. And then she left.

*end of random thing*

So yeah our parents are liars.. and dont trust them. they arnt going to give you anything. they vaguely promised me a new tv and foxtel, but somehow i doubt that's going to happen. Let's all sit back and relax =]

brb need to take a dump.

-Farnie

EDIT:

Has your parents ever bribed you? talk to me =]

p.s. anyone wanna sell me some books? and does anyone want to buy some books off me?

funny/gross/uncomfortable

It's the morning of the physics exam and i've just experienced the worst build up to an exam.. here is my story..

I woke up this morning and lay in bed hoping that my stomach ache would go away. Unfortunately it did not. I decided to proceed to the toilet to dump it all out. A very watery one it was too. Not a happy dump =[ so while i sat there relieving my bowels, i thought to myself what i ate which could have caused all this destruction within my stomach and intestines. Could it be the delicious yoghurt that i ate last night... or perhaps the steamed egg dish that my grandma cooked. I guess it didn't matter in the end as long as i felt better after.. and i did. =]

I wont go into more details about that part of the story.. but i'll proceed to the next. So i opened the door to the beautiful smell of French Toast which had wafted upstairs. I stood there for a while taking in the smell before it became stained with the foul smell of what i had just finished in the bathroom. So.. i went downstairs to go nibble on some freshly made french toast. I grab the massively oversized plate and sat in the living room, savouring the buttery and eggy taste of my triangular pieces of toast. In conjunction to this, i also decided to listen to the sounds of Gossip Girl coming out of my sister's laptop. Once again it was the sound of Jenny Humphrey getting owned. It was one of those moments.. the stunned silence at her embarrassment and then the laughter which followed.

Anyway after finishing up i put the oversized plate into the sink. Then my grandma said, as she does every morning, "一定要喝一杯奶" aka.. you must drink a cup of milking. Forgetting what i had just achieved in the toilet, i proceed to drink a cup..

Upon reaching my desk to quickly read through some notes for physics, i felt the urge to let one rip. It was strange.. things didn't come out very smoothly.. and instead i felt this uncomfortable feeling within my pants. They felt heavy and strangely wet. I got up realising what i had done.. i had just shat my pants o_O Memories flooded back of the other time i shat my pants. it was in my sister's room and once again i had the urge to let one rip.. unfortunately coming out as o_o

i ran to the toilet.. with my ass cheeks rubbing very smoothly against each other due to the lubrication between my cheeks.. so in the toilet i pulled down my pants and there it was.. a yellow gooey mess at the bottom of my underwear. I proceeded to have diarrhea. Yum... In that frantic moment.. i forgot to lock the toilet door. Hearing someone coming up the stairs i had to quickly get off the toilet half way through.. to lock the door. Luckily i didnt make more of a mess.

The difference between this time and last time is that last time i didnt bother shower after and didnt realise that there was a stain on the bottom of my shorts. This time i made sure i checked.. anyway i got another stomach ache.. i think i might go take another dump o_O

Looky i made it!

=D i made it! well actually my mum decided to take over half way through >.<

This is the bottom layer which is glutinous rice and coconut milk =]

and it's steaming in our wok.. cos we're too pov to buy a steamer xD

This is the top layer. In there is.. flour, eggs, sugar, pandan extract, salt and coconut milk

sorry about the image.. i used my phone to take pics o-o also another indicator of how pov i am

I have no idea what happened to this image.. but there's the end result =]

As you can see.. we kinda screwed up the top layer. Should have been flat but turned out with big bumps on it cos we didnt wipe the water off the top of the lid of the steamer xD
But it doesnt matter what it looks like rite? as long as it tastes good =]

hmm if you want some u'd better come get some soon or im gonna eat it all

muahaha mmmm.. i think i might go get some now =]

back? dunno..

time to update =]

As a Malaysian... I LOVE MALAYSIAN FOOD ZOMG

so since i suck at updating.. i think ill just update with nice Malaysian food.

First up is one of my all time favourite kueh's SERI MUKA/KUEH SALAT =]

It's bottom layer is glutinous rice flavoured with coconut milk =] and the top layer is a pandan flavoured egg custard. YUMMEHHHHHH mm my mum used to make it quite often but hasnt done it in a while so im thinking about trying to make it myself. perhaps ill give some to you =O and if i do ill certainly post it here with the final result.

Watch out! THIS BLOG IS COMING ALIVE AGAIN =]

more malaysian food coming soon =]

MALAYSIA TRUELY ASIA~~ o-o

Farnie's Blog randomness 3 months ago

YES THAT'S RIGHT MY LAST POST WAS... 3 months ago =O
I would like to thanks Hans for posting about me:

QUOTE: "Yesterday during methods, ashok kept smiling weirdly in farn, augustine and my direction. After a while...
Farn: "So Ashok, how did you go in the methods sac yesterday?"
Ashok (evil smile): "well, 50? Maybe 51 out of 50?" (in an arrogant manner, the sac was out of 50)
About a minute later...
Ashok: "You know that f and f inverse graph question?" (with a sly smile)
Farn: "what about it?"
Ashok: "Did you get it?"
Farn: "ah i dunno...what did you get?"
Ashok (obnoxiously): "it's actually just y=x"
Farn: Oh ok. yeah.
Ashok (in a bet-you-didn't-know-it tone): "And there's a restricted domain, from 0 to infinty"
LOL. Yeah, the restricted domain is actually from 1 to infinity. Sorry Ashok, 51 out of 50 isn't quite gonna happen for you.
Well, I guess that isn't really funny unless you know ashok yourself. But yeah, moral of the story is, don't get overconfident, and definitely don't be arrogant."

AND also our epic 26-25 minesweeper game which i won =D.. but unfortunately he avenged his loss with a 26-25 win against me this morning =(

yes i am addicted to minesweeper :) lucky jacky sing never reads this blog.. cos everytime i start to lost against him (hardly ever of course).. i use my bomb. And when i use my bomb i pretend to disconnect by blocking him for a minute. Afterwards i come back saying "sorry, i think the bomb made me disconnect."
Earlier, jacky played me and i was on the verge of winning. He decided to use his bomb and closed his game window.. at that moment i forgot about my "disconnection" and proceeded to say a few words xDD 10 seconds later i blocked him =D

Wheelers Hill updates:
-The strong winds from "black saturday" caused part of the fencing around the land that the sheep lived on to fall down.. the sheep escaped.. i wasnt fortunate enough to see one walking past my house =(
-Red Rooster closed down.. finally went bankrupt i suspect.. not my fault... o_O
-Road works on Jells Road.. kept me awake all night... so frigging noisy ><

HI TO VIV =D